


When You Hold Me Like This

by becca_the_quiet_one



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff, a lot of fankids, trying to name fankids sucks btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21787570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becca_the_quiet_one/pseuds/becca_the_quiet_one
Summary: "And it scares her, how her heart jumps at the picture, how she feels something in her chest like a craving, something she hadn’t felt since the early days when she’d wanted nothing more than for Adora to love her back."Glimmer feels... conflicted. Adora tries to help
Relationships: Adora & Bow (She-Ra), Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Glimmer (She-Ra), Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Bow/Perfuma (She-Ra), Catra/Scorpia (She-Ra), Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra)
Comments: 42
Kudos: 113





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! My life is kinda falling apart a little bit, so wrote this, binged Into The Spiderverse again, slept for ten hours, woke up and edited it.

Glimmer is many things, according to the High Council, but she is not stupid. She had to have known this was coming.

She keeps a neutral, stately face but glares with her eyes. They’re right.

The member currently speaking is a tall, round woman from one of the middle provinces, and her long, braided white hair speaks to both her position as matriarch of her family, and the respect she commands as such. 

Said woman sighs deeply, annoyed. “Your majesty, all we ask for is an answer.”

Glimmer keeps her posture high in her throne, a neutral face but steely eyes. “I established this council to provide information on the opinions and problems faced by the citizens of Brightmoon. Not to speculate and gossip about my personal life.”

“And the people are worried about the future. Our future.” the womans face is hard but her eyes are soft. She was elected to answer this question. It does not mean she wants to. 

Somehow Glimmer finds that even more irritating. She wants to remind them, angrily, that they should be glad they have a future to worry about. That the war and the threat of immediate danger is over. Instead, she softens her look towards the old woman.

“Please, Adessa,” She asserts, “Assure the citizens that I have taken every precaution to ensure that Brightmoons prosperity will continue. Infrastructure is sound, interkingdom relations have never been stronger, and there are protocols set in place in case of every natural disaster.”

Glimmer folds her hands, pleased with her speech. Hopefully it will be enough. 

For her part, Adessa bows, deferring to the queen. “I will do so, my lady. But if I may be so bold?”

Glimmer fights the urge to roll her eyes but urges for her to continue.

“I respect your desire for privacy. And i wish, truly, that it was not I that was needed to tell you this.” She refuses to meet Glimmers eyes. “But the subject of royal heirs cannot be put off forever.”

Glimmer rises from her seat. Her voice has lost it’s kindness.

“Spread the message throughout the lower kingdoms. Your business is done here.” She motions for the guards in the room to escort the woman out. Adessa bows her snowy head.

It is only after the doors close that Glimmer curls in on herself.  
_________________________________________________________________________

She doesn’t deserve this. Not after everything.

She’s nearly destroyed the planet. She’s ended lives.

She broke Adoras heart.

And Glimmer knows she’s the outlier. Her parents had married for love. Just that was a miracle itself. But to have a child solely because they were wanted? Glimmer knows her lineage. Nearly every one of her ancestors was born out of necessity, to keep the royal blood flowing. 

And if she’s just another link in the chain, then why does feeling like bringing an unwanted child into the world feel like the worst thing she could possibly do?

She’d never really considered it as a child. She’d assumed both her mother and the war would be around forever, and somehow the practicalities of ruling a peaceful kingdom never factored into her daydreams. Then Angella made her choice, and suddenly everything Glimmer never considered came knocking on her door. 

And somewhere in the back of her mind, a voice that sounds suspiciously like Bow reminds her that the world is safe now, partly thanks to her. But the larger portions of her brain remind her if the decisions that put the world in such danger to begin with. In the first few months of her reign, Glimmer managed to let Salineas fall, cause the Princess Alliance to fracture, and bring a millenia-old tyrant to Etheria’s doorstep. She was rash then, caught up in her anger and her frustration and her grief. Finally she’d had a taste of the power she craved, a chance to really do something to turn the tide of the war.

And she’d used it to shatter her relationships with the people she loved more than anything. 

Her skin still crawls even thinking about the words she’d hurled in haste at her best friends. Commanding them to stay, choosing their fates for them. 

Even as she sleeps next to Adora, her nightmares see blue eyes shatter with just a few careless syllables. 

The weight of her guilt forces Glimmer to know the truth. She hasn’t changed. Not really, not in any way that means she deserves to raise a child.

Which is why it strikes her so deep when she realizes just how badly she wants it.

Adora sits, later that night, in the reading nook in Glimmers bay window. Cross-legged, she sits hunched over a book in her lap, her long blond hair falling down into her field of vision. Moonlight shines in behind her, and not for the first time, Glimmer recognizes that she’s in love.

It still takes a minute for Adora to see her, as engrossed in her story as she is. She jumps, though, and Glimmer takes a second to appreciate how far she’s come, that she;s learned how to relax enough that it’s just jumping, and not attacking with a concealed weapon.

Adora relazes, though, as Glimmer steps into the room. “Hey Glim. Long day?”

“You know it.” Gimmer yawns. “Must’ve met about a hundred council representatives today, and all they wanted to discuss was the Sun festival.”

As Glimmer changes into her pajamas, Adora puts a bookmark in between the pages of her book. It’s a hobby she’s taken up recently, in lieu of training all day every day. Now it’s only all day some days.

Adora opens her arms as Glimmer climbs into them, shifting so that her back meets Adoras chest. “I mean, it is important, right? When was the last time Brightmoon hosted?”

Glimmer groans. “Not since my great-grandma was in diapers. And I wouldn’t mind it so much if they actually cared about planning, not just what specific royal gown I’m wearing.”

“Nah,” Adora says, resting her head on Glimmers shoulder, “It’s my job to worry about what you’re wearing. Not that I need to, you’ll look stunning no matter what.”

“Dork.” Glimmer teased, even as her heart pounds and her cheeks redden. She leans in for a quick kiss, and Adora meets her halfway. 

They pull apart. Glimmer yawns again.“So what did you do today?”

Adora shrugs. “Meetings. Took Swiftie out to visit Scorpia. She says hi by the way.”  
Glimmer hums, leaning back and letting her eyelids droop. She’s half asleep when Adora whispers in her ear.

“You should sleep. You’ve got that meeting with your dad tomorrow morning.” She punctuates this with a kiss to Glimmers shoulder.

Glimmer snuggles down. “Just a minute. I’m comfy here.”

And that’s when it hits her. Just how easily a baby could fit right in this picture. A little blondie with purple eyes and Adoras smile. Listening to Adoras stories and sharing their day.

And it scares her, how her heart jumps at the picture, how she feels something in her chest like a craving, something she hadn’t felt since the early days when she’d wanted nothing more than for Adora to love her back.

She must’ve stiffened then, because Adora shakes her gently. “Honey? You okay?”

Glimmer slaps on her best weary smile. “Just tired. Ready for bed?”

Adora nods, so Glimmer teleports them to her still-hanging bed. She gently pries Adoras arms from around her waist, setting her against the pillows. Then she zips around the room, blowing out the candles. Adora is almost asleep when she returns. Glimmer gets behind her, and barely has enough time to wrap her arms around Adoras waist before her breathing evens out. Glimmer pulls the covers up around them, and presses her face into Adoras back. This is enough.

Glimmer loves Adora. And Adora, for some reason, loves her back. She can be content with that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry that this took so long. But life happened, and also my friend (who may or may not be reading this, in which case Hi) got me into My Hero Academia. Oops.

Morning are a special kind of torture. When Glimmer wakes, the sun just barely streams into the room. The late fall morning is chilly, as Glimmer snuggles deeper into-

-a pillow. Glimmer groans. So today is one of Adoras training days. Well, at least the pillow  _ smells  _ like her.

With a distinctive lack of warm and sleepy wife to cuddle into, there’s no point in staying in bed any longer, so Glimmer drags herself out, dresses, and shuffles down to breakfast.

Once upon a time, Bow and Adora would’ve joined her in the mornings, sharing weird dreams and silly jokes. Bow primarily lives in Plumeria now, with Perfuma and their daughter Calla. And there’s nothing stopping her from asking Adora to join, heaven knows she’d drop whatever routine she was currently practicing if Glimmer suggested anything sweet for breakfast. But today she savors the quiet dawn of a chilly morning.

She’s meeting her dad right after breakfast. She loves him, truly, but things are still a little awkward between them. Fifteen years of separation will do that to you. But she enjoys it, getting to learn all the little quirks and intricacies of her dad. It only hurts a little that she should’ve been able to know them without even realizing. 

She supposes that there will always be members of her staff who gawk at her each morning as she strides into the breakfast hall. It’s highly unusual for a queen to choose to dine outside of her royal chambers. She understands their hesitation, she sees no reason to distance herself from the people who keep her alive every day. Besides, the quiet chatter of breakfast is nice to hear, reminds her of how lucky she is.

Today, however, she’s not listening to the guards discuss potential weekend plans, or the maids gossip, or the cooks bickering. She’s still thinking about her meeting with the council yesterday.

She knows she should talk to Adora about it. They’d vowed to always talk it through, hadn’t they? But Glimmer finds that she just can’t do it.

Not for lack of trying. They’d discussed children, briefly, before they got married. But it was in a more hypothetical context, a “this’ll probably have to happen eventually” situation. And Adora had held her close and told her they could, whenever she was ready. Glimmer had kissed her then, in lieu of admitting she might never be. And Adora, ineffably perfect Adora, had understood.

And now here she was, with the new revelation that maybe that was something she wanted very badly. 

The chef place her plate down in front of her, smiling. Glimmer thanks her and gives back a smile she doesn’t really feel.

In the first few years, Adora had been ambivalent to the idea of children. She adored Calla, but had never shown any signs of wanting a baby herself. But lately, she’s seen something smoulder in Adoras eyes when she looks at the children who come by Brightmoon daily. And that deepens the guilt Glimmer feels, that her own inferiority is the reason she can’t give Adora what she wants.

Talking to Adora is the uncontested best part of her day, the one way to make her feel better no matter what. But Glimmer still can’t bring herself to say the words she needs to.

________________________________________________________________________

Meetings with her father often turn into magic lessons. Drive is one thing they immediately had in common with each other, he to teach and she to learn. 

Today he;s teaching her a levitation spell. As he carefully measures and mixes the ingredients for the potion, his face is concentrated, calculating. It still shakes Glimmer a little, just how much he looks like her.

Or maybe she’s the one that looks like him. He glances up at her and breaks into a wide grin. “This is a fun one.”

Glimmer can’t resist grinning back. “Prove it.”

Twenty minutes later, a maid will find the horribly wrecked room and resist fainting, but Glimmer and Micah are long gone by then, their laughter echoing down the halls.

They steal away to the castle gardens to avoid taking responsibility. Micahs taken to cultivating them, and they flourish under his care. Glimmers a little worried about how much vengeful joy he takes in clipping back weeds and vines, but she supposes he’s allowed. 

As they stroll along, arm in arm, Glimmer gazes at the vines heavy with fruit. “You sure you didn’t enchant these to grow better?”

Micah rolls his eyes but laughs. “No honey, just time and water.”

Glimmer squints at the ripe, swollen berries. “Last time I tried gardening, I killed every last hyacinth in Bright Moon. I thought Perfuma was gonna cry.”

Micah snorts. “Your mother was the same way. She managed to make a gladiolus explode from overwatering. I still have no idea how she did that.”

The topic of Angella is a semi-frequent one. When Glimmer had first met her father, she was struck by the task of reconciling both of their versions of the late Queen. Glimmer remembers her cold serenity, strict but loving in a way Glimmer hadn’t been able to realize until it was too late. Micah instead remembers her deeply passionate, warm to everyone whom she loved.

It doesn’t take Glimmer long to realize why her mother had changed so much.

Glimmer leans her head on her fathers shoulder and breathes. He smells like dark chocolate and the old books he spends so much time with.

Micah looks down at her, eyes shining. “You’re about the age I was when we had you.”

That stops Glimmer short. “Really? I always thought you were older.”

Micah shrugs. “Nope. we’d only just gotten married when we found out we were having you.”

“So… I was an accident?”

“You were unplanned, baby.” He kisses the side of her head. “But not unwanted.”

It feels kind of surreal to be talking about this, especially now. “Was Mom happy?”

“She was a little freaked out at first.” Micah admits. “I guess she was used to the way things were. Wasn’t ready for change.”  
  
“Having a baby in the middle of a war probably didn’t help either.”  
  
“No, it probably didn’t.” A fond smile spreads over his face. “But once it sank in… I’d never seen her so happy before.”

“Everyone says she never liked to put me down.” Glimmer fills in. “She wanted to carry me everywhere.”

MIcah laughs as he nods. “That’s true. She looked like she was going to start crying every time you had to take a nap.”  
  
Glimmer laughs, and they finish the rest of their stroll in relative silence. Soon enough, they reach the edge of the garden. Glimmer groans, mentally tallying everything she has to do today and knowing she should probably get back to it. She turns to say goodbye to her father, but-

“Dad? Is everything okay?”

He looks wistful, and like he can’t look her in the face. “It’s just... “

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s been talk.” He says. “Rumors mostly. People getting nervous about… things.”

Glimmers heart sinks. “What kind of things?”

He looks at her. She looks at him. They both know the answer

“Right.” Glimmer answers her own question, running her hands through her hair. “The baby thing.”

Micah nods. “Sweetheart, I just wanted to let you know I’m here if you ever need to talk about anything.”

Outwardly, Glimmer nods. Inwardly, she feels detached from this situation. If word of it’s reached her father, then there's no telling how far it’s spread.

Micah hesitates. “You should really talk to Adora.”

Glimmers stomach turns. “Does… does she know?”

“... probably.”

Oh.

Oh no.

“Dad, can you cancel the rest of my meetings for the day?”

“Of course.” Micah responds. But it’s too late, and Glimmer’s gone in a puff of sparkles.

____________________________________________________________________________

Glimmers never been so grateful for the fact that she doesn’t need to recharge any more. She pops in and out of almost every room in the castle, looking for her wife. The training hall, the library, event the servants quarters. But Adora is nowhere to be found. 

The last option is their room, and Glimmer’s both hoping and dreading that’s where she’ll be.

As she finally blinks into existence on the floor of their bedroom, she’s utterly spent. She scrambles to her feet, eagerly scanning the room-

But she’s not there.

Glimmer almost starts sobbing before she notices the note on the bed. She grabs it and eagerly begins to read.

_ Glim, _

_ Went out to visit Bow and Perfuma. Tried to tell you but you  _

_ were with your dad. Took Swiftie, probably be back tomorrow. _

_ We should talk when I get back. _

_ I love you. _

_ Adora _

  
  


The words ring over and over in Glimmers head.  _ We should I talk when I get back.  _

So she knows. 

Glimmer sighs. 

She should feel more distraught. But she’s so, so tired. So she teleports one last time into her bed, clothes and all.

As she lets the soft material of her bed envelope her, an unbidden fear crosses her mind. That Adora plans to stay away, and the rest of her nights will be spent alone.

When she finally falls asleep, the salt tracks of her tears are dry on her cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I never specified what everyone's doing int his story, so here goes:
> 
> Bow and Perfuma live in Plumeria with their daughter Calla
> 
> Frostas still doing her thing
> 
> Catra and Scorpia live together in what used to be the fright zone. Maybe Entraptas there too, I haven't quite figured that out yet
> 
> Seahawk and Mermista are together 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, hoping to be able to write the next one soon since I'm basically snowed in this weekend


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So turns out this chapter is as long as the previous two combined because I am terrible at formatting. Oops and you're welcome.

Adora is categorically, irrefutably, undeniably, bad at most things.

Oh sure, she's an unparalleled fighter, with or without She-Ra. Her battle prowess is second to none, and she knows how to make a mean souffle.

It’s not completely her fault either. Even after leaving, defeating, and ending the horde, she’s still more likely to spend her days around the library or the stables than actual human people. But she’s happy that way. She’s content with her life and the people in it.

But the second the universe reminds her that she needs to change once in a while, that she doesn't have everything figured out, suddenly all the brain cells in her head flee to her feet. 

She hadn’t been planning to eavesdrop, not really. She’d just thought that it was a lovely day, really, too pretty to spend in meetings all day. Maybe they could get lunch together? Or have a nice picnic in a very secluded part of the castle? Perhaps they could investigate that ruin Entrapta had found last week. It could be so romantic, just like old times, and when they’d reach the exit Adora would hold Glimmer in her arms and-

Okay, maybe she just really missed her wife and wanted to see her. She’d fought in a war for her entire childhood, she’s allowed to be a little selfish and clingy.

The spring in her step is lighter as she rounds the corner, and out of the corner of her eye she spots King Micah.

Adora’s still getting used to the idea of having a father at all, much less in-law. But they both love Glimmer, and neither of them understand why tiny forks are so necessary for formal dinners. Safe to say, they have a mutual respect that Adora finds comforting.

But what isn’t comforting is the look on his face. 

He’s talking to Glimmer, of that much Adora is sure, even if she can’t see her from around the corner.

She can’t catch most of their conversation from where she’s standing, and while she could go and join them, some old time-worn voice from her Horde days reminds her to stay quiet and observe. She doesn’t know why, but she listens.

She catches a few snippets.  _ Rumors  _ and  _ nervous  _ fly past her ears and okay, now she’s worried. She takes half a step forward before she hears it.

“ _ The baby thing.” _

Adora freezes.

Glimmer has her back to her, and while her wife can’t see her fear, Micah definitely can. He gives her the smallest shake of his head, says a few more words to Glimmer that she can’t hear, and then her wife vanishes in a puff of sparkles.

“You can come out now, Adora.”

No, no she can’t. Her feet are frozen to the ground and all of a sudden she feels like she’s going to throw up.

She must’ve said that last part out loud, because all at once Micah’s beside her, patting her back. 

“What…?” She can’t bring herself to finish the sentence. 

Micah shakes his head. “Hold on. You’re shaking.”

Oh, so she is. “Baby thing?”

Micah sighs. “Take some deep breaths, Adora. Everything’s okay.”

Somehow, she highly doubts that. There’s a million situations running through her mind, and each one is worse than the last. “Is she…..”

“She’s not pregnant, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Half her panic fades away at that, and it must show because Micah frowns. “You know my baby girl would never cheat on you.”

Shame burns her ears. “I know that. Of course I know that. I just assumed… I mean, I heard you talk about some kind of situation and I just thought…”

Micah shakes his head. “No, she loves you too much for that. This… is something else.”

“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”

“Really?” Micah asks. “Wow, Glimmer must’ve really leaned on the Council to make sure they didn’t tell you.”

Adora’s panic returns full force. “Tell me about what?”

Micah hesitates. “It’s not really my place to say.”

Adora grabs his arm. “Please.”

“There’s been some gossip in Brightmoon lately. People are wondering about why there’s no heirs to the throne yet.”

Oh. 

_ Oh.  _




She thinks she chokes, but suddenly the world is spinning around her. She thinks she might be scared, or happy or confused or angry, but it’s all just one big knot in her chest, strangling her connection to the real world.

Micah takes one of her arms and loops it around his shoulders, still talking as he walks her back to her room. Adora thinks she could be thankful for him if she wasn’t spiraling into a crisis right now.

When they reach her room he deposits her gently on a chair, then kneels down in front of her.

“Listen to me Adora.” His words are steely, but his face and eyes are soft. “Just talk to her. Even if it’s a promise to talk about it later.”

Adora thinks she nods, but she’s not really sure about anything. Then Micah smiles and pats her hand. He leaves the room, and then Adora is alone.

Right. Talking. 

She thinks about talking all the way to the stables. As she throws open the doors and runs to Swift Winds side. As she shakes him awake, frantic and skittish.

The dumb, beautiful horse doesn’t ask questions for once in his life, and she’s so inifintely grateful she thinks she might cry.

She knows it’s wrong, clinging to the skin on Swifties back, and her promise to Glimmer burns in her chest.

But she doesn’t know how to talk about it when she doesn’t know what to say.

_______________________________________________

There’s a scant number of people Adora can talk to when she’s like this.

There’s Glimmer, obviously. Scorpia’s usually good for emotional support but not so much for actually useful advice. She’s reconciled with Catra but… no. Entrapta.... Big no. Frosta doesn’t have any kind of experience with this sort of thing, and the last time she’d gone to Mermista and Seahawk, it had ended with them all getting very drunk and very arrested. So that leaves-

“Auntie Dora!”

Seeing her nieces smiling face, Adora feels better already. She scrambles off Swift Wind and scoops up the little girl running towards her. “Is that little Daisy? You’ve gotten so big!”

The little blondie in her arms giggles. “I’m Calla, Auntie Dora!”

Adora squeezes her tighter. “Whatever you say, little Rose.”

“Adora!” The girl in question turns, only for the last leg of The Best Friends Squad to envelope her in a truly massive hug that sweeps both her and her niece off the ground. “I didn’t know you were coming over!”

Adora laughs. “Me neither. But I just couldn’t stay away from this lil cutie-” she says ruffling Callas hair, much to the girls delight, “-For too long!”

Bow laughs. “Well come on in! Perfuma’ll be thrilled to see you!”

Said flower princess is in fact quite ecstatic to see her, immediately leaping up from her meditation despite her very round stomach.

She almost knocks herself over in her attempt to get to her friend, but even after ten years Adora is still faster than her. She catches her by the shoulder and yanks her into a tight hug, Calla still clinging to her leg.

Adora’s immediately invited to dinner, and once word of the former She-Ra being in Plumeria spreads, suddenly it turns into a massive feast akin to a festival. 

Wine is flowing, and Adora is laughing with her family, and it’s almost enough to make her forget why she came here.

Almost.

Later, after the party has wound down and Perfuma has gone to bed, Bow and Adora sit under the Heart Blossom tree together, Calla curled up asleep in his lap. 

Adora looks up at the stars. “I’m so happy for her, Bow. that she gets to have these.”

Bow looks up from his lap. “They are pretty beautiful.”

Adora hums in awed agreement.

Bow smiles and sighs. “You know I love having you here, right?”

Adora nods.

“Okay, good. What happened, Adora?”

Adora pales. “Nothing happened.”

“Come on, you know I know you better than that.” Bow laughs. “You hate going places without Glimmer. And it’s not like you to show up somewhere unannounced.”

Adora looks down in shameful silence.

“Did you two have a fight?” Bow asks. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don't want to, but I’m here to listen if you do.”

Adora tenses. “It’s… well, it’s hard for me to talk about.”

Bow nods, contemplatively. “I see. But you do want to talk about it?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, would it help you if I told you something first?”

“Maybe, yeah.”

Bow nods, and appears to wrack his brain for a few seconds before speaking.

“I was worried, you know. When we were trying for the first time.”

Adora furrows her brow. “About what?”

“The first six months, when it wasn’t working? I was worried it was me.”

Adoras heart clenches. “Oh Bow… Why didn’t you tell us?”

Bow shrugs. “Because I was embarrassed. I didn’t like talking about it because I felt like there was something wrong with me.”

“It was… hard.” He continues, hand stroking through his daughter's hair. “I mean, we were young, and we wanted a baby badly, so we thought it would be easy. But it just wasn’t working.”

Adora takes his hand. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone.”

Bow covers her hand with his. “Thank you Adora. But I wasn’t. Turns out Perfuma was blaming herself too.”

“Oh no…”

“Yeah.” Bow nods. “I’ve never seen her as dejected as she was when she told me.”

“She thought…” Bow sniffles. “That I blamed her. And I couldn't do that. Ever. Not even if I tried.”

Bow stops, breathes before continuing. “But we talked about it. A lot, actually. And I guess that’s what we needed because then we found out we were having her. Perfuma thought it was something about our energies lining up, but I think she was just waiting for her silly parents to work out their issues.” 

His hand gently traces his daughters face. “And I’ve never loved anything more.”

Adora cries. 

She can’t help it. Between today's events and her best friend's admission and how just much love her precious little niece is surrounded by, she just can’t keep it together any more. 

Bow gingerly moves Calla to the soft grass beside them and immediately reaches over to hug her. He pats her back and shushes her, and Adora just cries.

Tears flood down on her cheeks as she finally, finally admits the truth she’s been denying to herself all day.

“I’m scared.”

Bow rocks the two of them back and forth. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Adora ignores him. “Brightmoon’s wondering why me and Glimmer don’t have a baby yet.”

Bows grip tightens. “You don’t have to do that if you don't want to, okay? I’ll fight them if they try.”

Adora gives a watery laugh. “That’s not it. I… I do. Want a baby, that is. At least I think I do. I mean, I love Calla. But I don’t know why Glimmer wouldn’t come talk to me about it.”

“Well, my baby is pretty awesome, so I get that.” Bow releases her from the hug with a pat on her back. “She probably feels the same way you do. Besides, you know she’s never forgiven herself for the war.”

“I know.” Adora nods, and sucks in a sharp breath to keep the tears at bay. “I don’t want to force her into anything just because I want it. And I don't want her to think I’m just saying this because people are talking about it.”

“Hey, you and I both know Glimmer doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to. She’s way too feisty for that.” Bow gently picks Calla back up into his lap.

Adora picks at the grass. “Maybe she doesn’t trust me. I mean, she knew people were talking and still didn’t say anything.”

“Probably because she knew you were going to bolt.” Bow playfully pokes her in the side. “You know, like you did?”

“Oh.” Guilt floods Adoras face.

“It’s okay, she knows you’re gonna come back. I mean, you told her where you were going, right?”

“...”

“...  _ Adora.” _

“I wrote her a note!”

Bow sighs and drags a hand down his face. “Adora, I love you dearly and you are one of my most favorite people in the whole world, but if my child wasn’t sleeping right next to us I would absolutely have to yell at you for this.”

“I just couldn’t handle it.” Adora pulls her knees to her chest. “She’s probably so mad at me.”

Bow sighs. “You’re not gonna like this answer, but she’s probably blaming herself.”

Realization punches Adora in the gut. “Oh no. Oh no no no.”

She sits up, panicking. Bow rests his hand on your shoulder, grounding her. “Okay, calm down. Running off in the middle of the night will do absolutely nothing but wake her up and make her grumpy.”

The face Adora makes reminds Bow of the ones Calla makes sometimes, right before she throws a tantrum. “But she’s upset and I’m her wife. I shouldn’t be the one making her upset.”

Bow sighs again. “Fine. Help me get Calla into bed and then I’ll see you off.

_____________________________________________

Adora gently places the sleeping child into her crib before tiptoeing out of the room. She continues this way for a solid five feet before sprinting to the stables.

Bow has already hitched up Swift Wind, and she bursts in to interrupt their conversation.

Bow hugs her, hard. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay.”

Adora sniffs, trying very hard not to cry again. “I hope you’re right.”

“I know I am.” Bow pats her back. “And make sure you guys come by again before the twins come next month, okay?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She releases him, before climbing onto her steed and taking off for home.

The ride back feels so much longer. Her grip on Swift Winds back is much lighter, and she takes the time to appreciate the starlit night.

But that doesn’t mean she isn’t fearing the worst.

It’s almost alarmingly easy for her to sneak into her bedroom, and she bids Swift Wind a thank you and good night as she slips into her room. It’s dark, and Adora realizes Glimmer must be asleep.

Creeping up the stairs to the bed, Adora questions. On one hand, waking Glimmer up would get the conversation over with sooner, but on the other hand, Bow was right. Glimmer enjoys her sleep.

As she finally ascends to the bed, Adora's breath catches.

It’s no secret to her that Glimmer is stunning. She married her, after all. But as the moonlight streams in through the window, it strikes upon the glittery strands of her hair and illuminates the soft contours of her face. She looks peaceful in her sleep, a divine kind of beauty.

The tear tracks on her cheeks just about break her heart, though.

Ultimately, Adora is tired, and even though it kills her to know that Glimmer suffered because of her, she can’t bring herself to open that can of worms right now.

So she climbs into bed beside her wife and lets herself be greedy as she drapes one arm around her.

Tomorrow, she thinks as she drifts into unconsciousness, tomorrow they will talk.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled: that time everyone in the comments told me that "we need to talk" made them anxious, and I wrote 2k words without them actually talking. oops and sorry


	4. Chapter 4

By all laws of nature, Glimmer should be awake first. After all, Adora came home so late last night, and sleeps like the dead anyways. Of course, according to the laws of nature a horse should not have rainbow colored wings and a unicorn horn. Oh, and talk too. 

So of course Adora wakes up first. 

At first, the relative darkness of the room and the patter of rain on the windows nearly lull her back to sleep, before her stomach reminds her that she hasn’t eaten since last night.

Begrudgingly, she lets her eyelids fall open, drowsily assesses the situation. She’s in her bedroom, on her back. It’s early morning, and it’s raining outside. She’s still wearing her clothes from last night, and she knows from the heavy, sticky feeling on her body that she probably hasn’t showered either. She doesn’t remember her dream, but it must’ve been that one about the fire monster again, because the sheets are twisted around her ankles and her arm is thrown around-

She bolts upright, the sudden motion causing their bed to swing slightly. In an instant, she remembers. Her eyes darted over to Glimmer, still breathing evenly.

Adora stares at her motionless form for a few minutes, trying to catch her breath. It’s never, ever been quite this hard to talk to Glimmer, not even before the end of the war when they were fighting. The old, cold grip of anxiety rises in her chest and suddenly the urge to run is overwhelming.

But she made Glimmer cry, and that fact depresses all else. So Adora climbs out of bed, tucks the sheets back around her wife, and makes a plan.

_______________________________________________________________

Glimmer remembers everything the second she wakes. For a minute, it hurts too much to move. Adora is warm like the sun, and she just feels so cold. She knows the space behind her is empty, and it hurts more than anything else.

But Adora keeps her word, always. And if she wants them to talk about something, then that’s what happening. In her mind, Glimmer lays out her arguments. She’s not ready. There’s too much work left to do. The spell that would need to be performed is risky and complicated, and there’s no real guarantee it would even work. 

She builds walls around the real reason, but she knows it’s futile. Because she knows Adora, knows her faces and expressions, knows that every last one of them makes it impossible to lie, or even dance around the truth.

So they’re going to talk, and Glimmer will admit that she doesn’t deserve-

“Morning.”

Glimmer shoots up, nearly knocking heads with Adora and almost knocking her over. Adora maneuvers quickly, and shoots her arms up above Glimmer's head to preserve the tray in her hands.

“Careful,” she says, slowly lowering the tray back down. “I brought you breakfast. Thought we could eat together?”

Breakfast in bed. Even though she's still incredibly nervous, there's suddenly nowhere else in the world Glimmer would rather be.

She settles back against the pillows, Adora setting the tray on her lap before climbing next to her and leaning into her side.

“What time did you get home last night?” Glimmer asks as she digs into her eggs and toast, voice still heady with sleep. 

Adora groans, leaning her head on top of Glimmers. “Late. Super late.”

She’s obviously just come out of the shower, and Glimmer tries not to get distracted by just how good she smells. “I figured.”

Silence falls between them, tense. Until-

“I’m sorry.”

“What?” Glimmer asks, confused. “What do you have to be sorry for?”

“I was kinda eavesdropping on you and your dad a little. And I heard… something. I freaked out and panicked and ran when I should’ve talked to you about it. I’m sorry.”

“Oh Adora,” Glimmer says, lacing their hands together, “I’m sorry too. I should’ve come and talked to you about the… something instead of putting it off. I should’ve known you’d hear about it sooner or later.”

“Glim,” Adora pulls back, her voice going serious, “I’d never want to force you to share anything you’re not comfortable with. But could you explain what this something is? So we’re on the same page here?”

“Yeah.” Glimmer nods. “Just… I need a minute. It’s kinda hard for me.”

“Take your time baby.”

Glimmer nods again and shuts her eyes tight, her breath becoming even and controlled.

They stay like that for a few minutes, and Adora thinks that maybe she’s fallen back asleep before Glimmer answers.

“People think we should have a baby.”

Glimmer half expects Adora to bolt right back out of bed. Which is why it’s all the more surprising when she squeezes her hand tighter. “That’s about what I figured.”

“Really?” Glimmer looks up in surprise.

Adora shrugs. “Like I said, I heard part of that conversation. But even so, I figured they’d bring it up eventually.”

“They have been. Quite a bit but especially lately.” Glimmer sighs. “Guess they think I’m getting old.”

Adora chuckles. “Dunno about that, you know they’d never say it to your face if they did.”

“Rude.” Glimmer rolls her eyes but goes serious again. “I mean, they’ve made pushes ever since we got married, but this time feels… different.”

“Different?” Adora cocks her head. “How so?”

“Because this time… I mean, I’m about as old as my Mom was when she had me. And the kingdom is in a better place than ever.”

“Are you saying that you want kids?” Adora asks, her voice level.

“No. Yes. Maybe?” Glimmer sighs. “It’s complicated. I’d never do it if you weren’t interested, and maybe I’m wrong but I think, maybe, you are. And that almost makes it worse because…”

“Because… “ Adora urges.

“Because.” Glimmer sighs, and hates the fact that tears make her eyes swim. “I… don’t think I deserve them.”

Glimmer feels a weight off her chest now that she’s finally admitted it, but the few seconds it takes Adora to respond feel like years.

“You don’t feel like you deserve to have kids?” Adora questions. “Because of the war?”

“I know how much you hate hearing me talk like this.” Glimmer tries to stop her shakes from entering her voice. “But I commanded troops in battle Adora. I made a decision with them, and I’m the reason some of them aren’t here anymore. I took people's children away from them. I’ve done horrible things and I don’t…”

She has to stop, because now she’s crying uncontrollably. Adora wraps her arms around her and shushes gently. And for a split second Glimmer hates the entire world she just wants to talk this out so thing can be good again, damnit, why did her stupid biology have to get in the way?

Adora seems to get it though, and rocks her gently until her sobs die down, before she speaks.

“Glimmer, listen to me.” Adora gently commands. “You are not the reason those people died. Many more probably would have if you hadn’t made the decisions you did.”

“But they’re gone.” Glimmer says. “And I’m here.”

“And there will never be a day when I’m not so, so incredibly grateful for that.” Adora holds her just a little tighter. “You’re always in the business of denying yourself. You get to have this. Happiness isn’t a piece of chocolate cake when you’re on a diet.”

In spite of herself, Glimmer laughs. “Okay, who told you that? I know you didn;t come up with that yourself.”

“... Mermista.” Adora shakes her head. “Glimmer, I don’t care if we have kids or we don’t. It’s you and me until the end, and I swear I’ll spend every day making sure you know just how much you deserve.”

“You are kind.” Adora continues. “You are the smartest person I’ve ever met but you’ve never once used it against anyone maliciously. You know the weight of your decisions on such a molecular level that I’m constantly astounded by how compassionate you can be. You’ve always worked harder than anyone I’ve ever known, and you give every inch of yourself to help other people.”

“Glim,” Adora gets choked up. “You’re my hero.”

Glimmer turns her head, and before Adora knows it Glimmers lips are on hers. Glimmers hands cup her face, gently as though she might break. Adora does the same, wiping away the tears with her thumb.

It almost feels like their first kiss again, but better and less awkward this time, and Glimmer swipes her tongue across her lips and Adoras so gone. 

__________________________________________

“Ask me.”

It’s well past midmorning, the sun just starting to sink below the horizon. Adora lays on her back, with Glimmer on top, the sheets pulled over both of them.

Adora runs her hand down the fresh scratches she’s just put on Glimmer's back. She’s spent the last few hours trying to make Glimmer feel loved. She hopes it worked.

“Ask you what?” Adora yawns and stretches.

“Adora.” Glimmer looks her in the face. “Ask me.”

There's fire in Gimmers eyes. Deep and strong and twinkling.

Adora sits up, taking Glimmer with her, maneuvers them so they’re face to face.

“Glimmer… do you want kids?”

Glimmers hand cups Adoras cheek. “I don’t want it to feel like we’re only doing it because Brightmoon needs an heir. I want this because I love you, and you love me, and I could be content with that for my whole life but I don’t have to be.”

“I love you so so much.” Glimmer smiles. “This is something we can love together. If you want it, I mean.”

“Glimmer.” Adora breathes. “Of course I do. I want this too. All of it. Good or bad, I’m here for it. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know.” 

Adora leans in again, and as Glimmer meets her, a thought occurs.

This baby's gonna be surrounded by a whole lot of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, upon being told that my school is closed for three weeks: Oh sweet, I finally have time to write fanfiction.
> 
> Also me, after three days of being stuck in the house with my whole family all day: This is awful but I refuse to die before She Ra Season 5
> 
> Also, fear not! I'm planning to make this into a series! And it's gonna be cute (I say, ignoring the fact that I only have a vague outline)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please comment because I crave validation. hoping to get the next chapter out sometime next week


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